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Pope Clarifies That Hell Exists and We Must Topple Its Throne in Barad-dûr

Pontiff Suggests the Orcs Went Forth to Rape and War, and Balrog Captains Marched Before

After being introduced to the Lord of the Rings trilogy over the weekend, the Pope scheduled an immediate address in St. Peter’s Square to clarify the Vatican’s position on Perdition as a very real location that all men of faith must prepare to combat. Calling upon all faithful to Eru Ilúvatar to rally around the banner of extinguishing darkness, he expounded on how we might band together in common cause.

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