WASHINGTON D.C.—President Trump delivered a surprise press conference on the White House lawn this morning in response to nationwide prisoner protests over unfair conditions. He decried the source of the peaceful protests, citing the removal of ancient magical wards against “spreading darkness”. Citing the numerous examples of citizens’ groups and politicians “taking a big fat eraser and removing our historical shields against barbarism,” Trump suggested that we made this bed, now we get to lie in it.
I Know What You See When You Look At Me, Asshole: Nothing
Don’t pull that Stevie Wonder routine, your vacant and cheery smile doesn’t pull water with me. Your smug air of superiority permeates the air like the overcast day you’re totally oblivious to. I know that you’re judging me by the color of my skin, and I will describe it to you in order to confirm that.