The Los Angeles Police Department Code of Conduct Has Been Reduced to ‘Do What Thou Wilt Shall Be the Whole of the Law’
Los Angeles, CA—In order to modernize an outdated code of conduct that didn’t properly reflect current ethics standards, Los Angeles police departments have been rolling out updates that comply with Thelemic Law. The change is intended to boost morale in the face of criticism by eliminating any confusing pretense of protecting or serving.
Continue reading LAPD Code of Ethics Replaced with Thelemic Law
In efforts to offset the tragic and completely unavoidable killing of a Trader Joe’s manager on Saturday, the store is amplifying its employee rewards track with a token to present at the River Styx. In the event that an unknowable and cruel god once again acts through the unwitting hands of a Los Angeles police officer to send them to the underworld, any Trader Joe’s manager may redeem the token for safe passage.
Continue reading New Trader Joe’s Incentive Package To Include Coin For Ferryman
Toronto Selective Breeding Program Promises Resurgence of Endangered Hero Cops
A rare breed of hero cop that champions the innocent and downtrodden is climbing in numbers thanks to the efforts of the Toronto Zoo. Captive breeding that selects for favorable traits could mean a return to the halcyon days of not fearing for your life when you see a badge.
Continue reading Hero Cop Once Thought Extinct Returning Thanks to Breeding Program